hum..
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Love your baby girl - Sugarland
lol.. this thing is so old.. n im gettin bored of myspace.. its rather pointless, and I'm bored at the moment, so im guna write in it again..

That snow better come.. even though we had off thurs and fri.. i still dont want to go to school.. and I never did go down to books-a-million while i was at work to get the gatsby book.. damn marc! i need my book! lol..

hum.. wats new?.. cheerleadin is almost over.. ALMOST..lol, as soon as basketball finishes then we're out.. and today Nick pimped my fone, haha.. everytime it rings, I let it keep ringin so i can watch my antenna.. its awesome..

hm.. i dont even knw wat to write about anymore.. its not like it was last yr.. wen everybody actually wrote every aspect of their life cuz it was "cool" haha

w/e.. ill write again wen i feel it necessary..

- Manda

..idk wat to write...
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Sarai - Ladies
hmm.. lol. today was interesting.. i LOVE B days.. so much.. lol, wat an interesting assembly.. i especially liked the lady dancin... HAHA..

i m sooo hungry rite now, but my moms not home, n i dont think we have ne food.. we havent had ne thing to eat in this house for like EVA... hm.. lol.. well we have um.. ramen.. haha.. like 50 million of the only kind that is accetable for vegetarians, for my brother lol oriental, i believe?...

hm.. im tired too, n i went to bed 10:30 or sumthin like that n got up at 6... hmm.. crazy.. i can go to bed at like 11 n wake up at 2:45 n be all like awake the next day.. but today i havent quite woken up.. idk

lol.. today at art society.. i was standin there n these ppl were talkin bout sumthin n i kinda figured it was anime after listenin for a lil bit, n then they said baltimore.. i was thinkin hm, the anime convention?.. n then i asked em wat convention, n they were like jus sum convention in baltimore.. n i was the anime convention, n i sooo pulled out my chobits keychain..lol, they thought they knew sumthin that i didnt care bout.. n they say we judge them? hypocrits...lol.. OWNED ..funy... good times..

i m so eatin a stale chip rite now, im starvin...lol.. maybe ill go find sumthin thats not stale.. cuz we do have things. i jus dont like to eat them, but if im hungry enough i guess it works..

Manda

alRIGHT
Mood:  special
Now Playing: The Killers - Somebody told me!!
Hmm, lets see.. i havent writtin in this thing in FOever... lol.. hm, i didnt wanna delete any of the old ones.. jus cuz... its me.. n wat i thought then, what wud the fun b in deletin em?..

lol, after readin those.. everything is so different, i dont get depressed like that nemore.. well at least i havent in awhile, prolly since then, i jus get anxiety attacks.. hm.. i cant believe how much has changed since the last time i wrote in this thing... Teo told me to get one at this other place, but.. mine is awesome so i pulled it bak up..lol.. i created my awesome thing on the side where it says manda... whether it comes up for u to see is sumthin idk but this is wat it looks like... :
yea, pretty amazin, lol.. well only to me, i took like 2 days on that thing.. if not longer.. i dont member how long it was i jus remember i was like OCD on creatin it n perfectin it..lol

HOLY SHIT.. all this stuff jus fell down from my computer desk...lol, i had these hats sittin on the edge of the top of it n they all jus came down... hm..lol
I use to love writin in this thing.. idk y, lol, its mainly an entertainment for the bored.. but then after readin all the entries u get so bored u stop, its like a conspiracy.. (sp?) i think thats rite..

lol, i m so bored n i m SO ramblin.. so ima go now

-Manda-

hopefully things will b different
idk, havent written in awhile, havent had the motivation.. i suppose its called "depression".. i looked it up n it said if u have 5 or more of the symptoms u cud b depressed... then i took this test n it was like Normal, Mildly Depressed, Moderately Depressed n then it was like severely.. n it said i was moderately.. so i was jus like... uh, idk cryin all the time for no reason seemed kinda weird for sumone who was "bubbly" or sumfin like htat.. n then to b like blah... idk..

but ha, surprise.. me n Glenn had like a 2 hr talk jus sittin n talkin n idk.. like i feel different inside.. like we talk all the time, but 2 hrs of talkin is different, idk.. i jus feel different.. but now if sumone is like.. u seem differnt or ur actin different, its jus gunna make me wanna b sad again.. idk.. i dont even knw y ive been sad in the first place, like nothin is wrong.. well i mean there r a lot of things.. but i dont tell no one.. not like anyone cares... but idk...

anyways.. nuff bout that.. idk, i jus had to get that outta my system...

AAHHH!!! i won this amazingly HOT Roxy CD organizer visor thing for my car... (that i cant drive YET).. the end of this month, yea!.. so excited.. idk.. sumtin new to personalize.. it'll b awesome.. i still gotta figure out wat steerin wheel cover i want idk.. theres too much stuff...well actually theres a lot but not a lot of it matches, but i did find this one, so we'll c..

idk.. lets see wats happened since April 5 or 6th or wenever my last entry was.. i think it was the 5th? idk, me n Glenn had our ONE YEAR.. woo.. thats a long time to b wit sumbody, idk, it doesnt seem that long.. like theres so many places we can stil go, like the relationship doesnt get old..idk..

n... drivin school is ALMOST over.. cant wait to b outta the beast.. idk, 2 more classes, lol.. ill miss the dunkin donut sessions.. sike..

hm, idk.. i dont feel like typin in here cuz everyone is online.. so yea

Manda

hm
its realy weird.. i have a feelin in my stomach like theres sumthin i have to do, like sumthin is wrong wit sumone.. quixotic.. idk.. like an overwelming stressful feelin.. its weird.. hm.. ill figure it out..

hm.. i really really hate school.. i hate feelin like everything i say is gunna b used against me, or ppl r gunna sit there n talk bout me.. friends? no, they arent friends if i feel that way.. idk, must we all walk on egg shells around the assholes with no lives?.. grow up!.. ugh.. ppl really need more to fill out their day.. it makes me talk bout the ppl b/c it bothers me so much n i hate talkin bout ppl.. like i shudnt have to make comments about how much of an asshole sum ppl r.. idk.. its highschool.. n ppl really jus need to mind their business n b concerned about their own lives..

n i really hate how ppl think they can give me advice on a yr relationship... until u have a b/f.. g/f for a yr, i really dont want to hear it, unless i ask for it.. n dont judge anyones relationship UNLESS "u" r in it.. yea, thanks.. appreciate it.. jus had to get that out, cuz ppl piss me off.. n i never tell the ppl but they do..

hm, idk.. ppl like to make other ppl miserable.. must u bring others to your level? find sumthing that makes u happy, but dont put others down.. n if u must make sure that they arent on the edge, or that they can take it.. wat many dont realize is everyone has got their own shit, but like me, for instance.. u dont see me takin it out on everyone else, idk.. ppl r jus so dum.. idk.. ill stop bitchin bout others for now.. cuz idk.. ima try n get over it.. try to stay away from sum of em.. idk wat else to do to not feel like shit b/c of others..

k, well now about me..lol.. since this is MY blog..

uh.. well friday was soo incredibly fun, went to the mall n the foreign exchange student went wit us, shes so cool.. idk. it was awesome, kinda feel like i smothered her tho, but i was so afraid of like her feelin like 'dum' b/c she didnt knw things.. or makin her feel dum, or losin her.. idk, like this one time we all were like where is she?, wen in fact she had followed me into the shoe store.. so i hurried n went in n looked around wit her.. idk.. im protective over ppl.. n i guess i was more so over her b/c shes not from here.. n i didnt want her to like.. idk.. i guess i jus didnt want her to feel left out.. or nething.. but she was awesome to hang wit so it was cool..

uhh, n then yesterday.. lol!! omg. we went to mount vernon.. pretty smooth sailin there.. n then on the way back!.. we say through 2 hours of traffic - in the opposite direction of home, hahaha.. but me n ashleigh entertained ourselves, it was hilarious.. n we went to cracker barrel - fab!.. it was great.. idk.. i love cracker barrel.. got sum cornbread..lol, n they serve breakfast all day!, so i got sum yummy biscuits n gravy.. yum.. i cant wait to go to Myrtle Beach, hopefully we'll hit like every cracker barrel.. i love them places..lol

man, i got heartburn or sumthin.. i hate food n i used ketchup - im thinkin not so smart, tomatoes n me r good buddies.., lol.. messes up my stomach.. i keep like throwin up in the bak of my mouth, haha n i keep forgettin to go down n take my medicine or i keep puttin it off.. which i shudnt idk..

i keep feelin like i put ppl down.. like all the time.. like i try to do rite by everyone .. but i cant please everyone at once, n ppl get all mad.. like i can help it? idk.. im jus the kinda person who cares too much.. idk disappointin ppl is jus like idk, awful to me.. like sumtimes it is my fault.. n then it like sinks in even more.. n even if i like apologize or the person says "its ok", u knw its really not n they r jus bullshittin ya.. idk.. so weird.. i hate bein human.. too many emotions..

hm wat else.. idk.. i shudnt care so mucha about things.. idk, i was thinkin bout that.. well actually i was thinkin how i think too much.. lol.. how i shudnt.. cuz really like nobody really cares, like ppl get over things even wen they still bother me, like there r ppl that i dont talk to rite now for lots of reasons that i have like a million things to say to.. n a million things that if i cud change them i wud jus b like hey, its done, ya knw.. n change it.. idk.. i wud stop things before they started or say things that i didnt.. idk.. i jus.. idk.. wish i had one person that didnt judge me ever.. that cud talk bak.. like i knw i can talk to God, but i need a response.. like im a very independent person n i boss ppl around, but i also need guidance, i need discipline, i need sumone to help me knw wat to do.. i want to find sumone like me, not bein conceited, but jus sayin b/c i dont judge, i mean everyone judges but i dont judge wen it comes to sumone confidin in me.. idk.. i jus wish that i cud talk to myself, hha, like if it was actually possible.. that wud so cool.. idk..

like i wud def pour my soul out in here, but stupid ppl judge too much n i leave a lot out.. so yea.. n like how ppl say "u can talk to me".. u really cant, idk.. its not that simple.. exspecially if u knw they will judge u.. idk..

this thing is really long, but a lot of stuff has been botherin me.. sum ppl try n jump to wat they believe is rite.. wen its really not.. n try to give input wen its not necessary.... idk.. input is suppose to b generally based not a direct statement at sumthin, n sum ppl fail to do that.. instead of tryin to guide u they make u feel like straight shit...

hm.. with all my "analyzations".. i kinda think i wanna b a psychiatrist.. or psychologist.. idk, i understand ppl, n the way ppl act things.. like i can tell things bout ppl jus from them sayin one word.. idk, its weird.. idk.. i guess i gotta change all my classes next yr.. or most of them..
idk.. im so lost, n thats a problem, idk wat i wanna do.. n idk how to approach it.. idk..

i need to stop.. jus makin me think more.. makin me draw more conclusions n fears out of myself.. idk..

Yea..
Currently Listening to: hard candy christmas - Dolly Parton

Well my life is kinda bak on track.. well not really, but things r better.. lol.. more ppl got my bak than i really thought.. idk, kinda weird how the ppl who i thought did.. didnt, odd... but i guess things are different than we suspect.. with everything..

amazing thing happened today.. walkin through the hall saw Josh-he saw me n we made the EXACT same face lol.. ya knw like the one surprising/weirdo faces.. so funy (baconin - bacon bits) haha

anyways... man we watched the STUPIDEST movie in drivin school...lol hm, yea def thought like this table of girls were lookin at me, i was like "ok, wat did I do now?!".. but then i was thinkin bout it n there was like this new girl that was there makin up a class.. n im thinkin they were talkin bout her, lol.. look at me bein all conceited.. "ppl talkin bout me again!, ha.. everyone does".. sike, lol.. idk..

ooo, n mite i add - if u see the pic on the side that says manda n has all the amazing pics.. i made that masterpiece.. i cut around all those pics n did my name all up n went in paint n configured them all together.. AND i went n took my paintin skills n put those yellow things in the middle of those pink flowers... i m quite the computer mastermind...lol (my modesty).. sike no, that thing jus took me awhile to perfect, n i think its awesome, so.. w/e

hm, mine n glenns one year is exactly a week from tomorrow.. whoo...lol even tho i gots drivin school, we can spend all of friday together..

hm.. yea it really bothers me that ppl think im a snob wen they DONT even knw me.. cuz i dont judge ne one, well i mean everyone judges everyone but i dont go outta my way to talk bout ppl.. well except one person, n thats jus b/c.. i got my reasons.. n i aint even been crackin on them that much lately either.. but yea, i def dont talk bout like ne one.. (other than that person occasionally).. but yea, jus pisses me off.. dont b so fuckin prejudice u assholes... n dont judge me wen u dont knw anything that goes on in my life.. i never jugde ne one the wrong way b/c of that one quote.. "be nice to everyone u meet, b/c they r prolly fightin a bigger battle".. or sumthin like that.. it makes sense in my head, haha.. idk.. jus pisses me off..

idk.. basically the moral of that paragraph.. Dont go outta ur way to talk bout sumbody.. lol.. n im tryin not to talk bout that 1 person as much.. cuz well they arent the center of my world - cant stand em.. but its still funy.. idk.. lol..

k.. well im out, hw n such

<3 Manda

hm
yea.. well today.. was.. a new beginnin i suppose, gotta get around stuff..idk, cant live my life on one thing i suppose, idk

hm.. im tired.. lets see wats happened.. dad n Kim r on a cruise.. lucky ducks... n my brother is in Minneannapolis, however its spelled, lol.. not like i care.. hmm

drivin school is hilarious.. like absolutely a laugh in itself, its so boring.. lol, me n Rabia jus sit there n make fun of everything..haha, the ppl r so quiet too.. its odd, like they cant speak or sumthin.. haha.. idk not me im always burpin cuz of my acid reflux, or im laughin or sumthin..lol, n the kids who sit next to us always look at me like im crazy.. but i like it that way, it makes em laugh, lol.. i think its funy..

i painted my nails yesterday.. pretty.. well not really.. it was..

uhh.. idk wat to type i was jus bored, needed to get my mind off of things.. i jus watched "The Missing", pretty good movie until the end, they got u like sittin on the edge of ur seat (dont read if ur gunna see, jus skip this paragraph..lol)n then the guy dies... ugh.. how dum.. it was so lame.. lol.. been so much betta if he lived n lived happily ever after wit his family.. idk

hm.. well im kinda tired.. not like im goin to bed.. gunna go n get more hyper, or sumthin,i dont wanna go to bed...lol.. idk.

Manda

hm.. ive definitely lost like 6pds cause of my f*in nerves.. i cant frickin eat w/o feeling sick.. i ate half a hot pocket yesterday, a lot, huh? n ugh, idk I f*ed up.. in more ways than 1... idk how to talk to ppl nemore w/o feelin like they will judge me.. n idk how to cope with things ne more.. idk.. i mite switch to Old Mill soon.. its jus too much at GB that i dont want.. idk.. i knw a few ppl there so its not like i wudnt have NE friends there.. i knw like 5 ppl.. thats enough for me to leave GB.. idk.. I'm finally gettin sum sleep.. my eyes wont stay open so i give up n go to bed.. n i havent woken up a lot in the middle of the nite, so thats good..

i really wish i had close relatives in another state.. cause id b outta here.. thatd b so cool too.. idk, hm.. i really disappoint everyone.. idk i really feel like everything i say to ppl means nothing, so Ill jus write it here for my own sake.. like talkin to myself.. only different, haha..

well my hands r cold.. so im gunna find sum gloves or sumthin..

manda...

So sleepy
humm well today was boring.. like seriously boring... 1st pd - watched movie... 2nd pd- we were filmed n cudnt really talk.. 3rd- always boring, who wants to type for an hour n a half?.. 4th - ugh math!

i jus got back from Quarterfield Elem., lol, those lil kids r so funny... n teachin them spanish aint that easy... since some of em knw stuff they jus shout out randomly, lol..we definitely gota get more organized...

hmm, i finished my pot after school today, hehe i think its cute.. its got like palm trees carved into the sides... n on the top there r painted hibicus flowers.. n tehn on the bottom is this like heart ribbon thing that i did, idk its cool.. its me.. haha

hum, man i think im becomin an insomniac again.. last year i like NeveR cud sleep.. ever... n im startin to b that way again, like i kinda sleep but i wake up n like idk, cant fall back asleep, n its hard enough jus fallin asleep in the 1st place... n its not like i have much on my mind.. cause i havent had a lot of hw lately.. but w/e..

hmm.. i think im gunna make a bracelet or sumthin tonite.. im gunna b bored.. hum.. yea, thats wat ill do.. lol, if anyones necklace ever breaks or like any piece of jewelry (besides rings..duh..) i can prolly fix it, lol.. like Rachel>> u still need to give me ur necklace so i can remake it for u...

yea, well i have odd hobbies, haha.. yea well fo now..

Manda

humm
well im sittin here in wordprocessing, theres nothin to do, but as soon as the teacher comes back i gotta go bak to my seat cuz i have no idea how to fix this one thing..

last nite was crazy, i had sumone frickin stalkin me.. or like 3 of us,.. f*in loser .. i swear... erg.. make me so mad, wudnt even tell me who they were, lol, w/e i blocked em.. dont care ne more...

i got an old friend back which jus made my day even more fun, lol.. other than being stalked, haha..

hm, well i betta go, lol. ppl r lookin at me

Manda